Jess That Awesome
Newton Geiszler - 10 years of experience man I'm very sorry
38,171 plays

artlebee:

A little comic with Pierre, my beekeeper character. Kind of also a personal thing, and a dedication to Ace Month which I…read was July. 

94,622 plays

seventhelement:

scibot9000:

I’ve noticed that the way cr1tikal talks kind of resembles an Aperture Science Personality Core

I GLaDOS-ified his voice from this video and I have to say I think it works (aside from my own lazy editing)

sci you are a beautiful fucking human being


Okay, here’s how to fuck good:
Fuck loud: When the fucking is happening with you, it must be loud. While you are fucking your sexual lover, scream loud and smash many porcelain dolls. This will ensure that the fucking is never forgotten. In 100 years, you can say to your sexual lover, “Remember the fucking?” and your sexual lover will say to you, “Yes, it was loud when it happened.”
Fuck so good that you win an award: One of the top ways to fuck great is to fuck so good that you win a prize or trophy for how good it is. Then if someone asks if you fuck good, you can say, “Well, I won a prize for good fucking, so you tell me, idiot.”
Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches: Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches around your mattress to encircle your fuck-chamber with a sensual flame while you fuck like a master. Fuck-Torches are not expensive and they make you fuck good, so just buy so many of them. Then while you are fucking, your sexual lover might say, “I like your Fuck-Torches,” and you can say, “Thank you. They were not expensive.”
Sweat wine: What is the most sexual fuck-juice? That is correct—it is wine, the juice of love. Thus, if you want to fuck good, you must sweat wine out of your pores. You and your sexual lover can lick the wine off of you and it will be delicious and you will both become sexual and mad. You can sweat out good wine or garbage wine, who cares?
Be damp: What is damp? Damp is the most sexual wetness. This is why, when you fuck your sexual lover, you must be damp. Before you fuck, mist yourself in steam. This will make you not too wet and not too dry: Damp. Then when you and your sexual lover are inside of each other, you can enjoy the sexual dampness, and you can go insane with lust, no questions asked
Source

Okay, here’s how to fuck good:

Fuck loud: When the fucking is happening with you, it must be loud. While you are fucking your sexual lover, scream loud and smash many porcelain dolls. This will ensure that the fucking is never forgotten. In 100 years, you can say to your sexual lover, “Remember the fucking?” and your sexual lover will say to you, “Yes, it was loud when it happened.”

Fuck so good that you win an award: One of the top ways to fuck great is to fuck so good that you win a prize or trophy for how good it is. Then if someone asks if you fuck good, you can say, “Well, I won a prize for good fucking, so you tell me, idiot.”

Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches: Light a ring of sexual Fuck-Torches around your mattress to encircle your fuck-chamber with a sensual flame while you fuck like a master. Fuck-Torches are not expensive and they make you fuck good, so just buy so many of them. Then while you are fucking, your sexual lover might say, “I like your Fuck-Torches,” and you can say, “Thank you. They were not expensive.”

Sweat wine: What is the most sexual fuck-juice? That is correct—it is wine, the juice of love. Thus, if you want to fuck good, you must sweat wine out of your pores. You and your sexual lover can lick the wine off of you and it will be delicious and you will both become sexual and mad. You can sweat out good wine or garbage wine, who cares?

Be damp: What is damp? Damp is the most sexual wetness. This is why, when you fuck your sexual lover, you must be damp. Before you fuck, mist yourself in steam. This will make you not too wet and not too dry: Damp. Then when you and your sexual lover are inside of each other, you can enjoy the sexual dampness, and you can go insane with lust, no questions asked

Source

A Soldier and a Marine just testing out their camo.

pettyofficerdongers:

captainkristine:

this-is-my-life-lacy:

imageimage

lololololol

I’m reblogging this again cause it’s that awesome.

Then there’s the Navy

image

baeddelpherneliatakesthesquare:

gorebitch666:

bride-of-bucky:

image

This picture of my cat celebrating Hanukkah is not feminism.

Tomorrow I will divulge one more thing that is not feminism. Stay tuned.

this picture of a cat celebrating Hanukkah is actually the culmination of feminism 

cats celebrating Hanukkah is actually the most feminist symbol of our time. perhaps our entire generation.

tokomon:

Suzanne is so important

mumblingsage:

yamino:

iamingrid:

yamino:

omgthatdress:

Half-Mourning Dress
1910-1912
The Victoria & Albert Museum

What’s a “half-mourning” dress?  Mourning in the front, party in the back?

Half-Mourning was the third stage of mourning for a widow. She would be expected to mourn her husband for at least two years, the stages being Full Mourning, Second Mourning and Half-Mourning. The different stages regulated what they would be wearing, with Full Mourning being all black and with no ornamentation, including the wodow’s veil, and the stages after that introducing some jewellery and modest ornamentation. When in Half-Mourning you would gradually include fabrics in other colors and sort of ease your way out of mourning. 
Wow, I am happy you made that joke so I could interpert it as a serious question and have an excuse to ramble on about clothing customs of the past, I am a historical fashion nerd.

That’s very informative, but I’m going to stick with my original head canon:


I love both the informed fashion history and the hilariously off-the-wall halves of this post.

mumblingsage:

yamino:

iamingrid:

yamino:

omgthatdress:

Half-Mourning Dress

1910-1912

The Victoria & Albert Museum

What’s a “half-mourning” dress?  Mourning in the front, party in the back?

Half-Mourning was the third stage of mourning for a widow. She would be expected to mourn her husband for at least two years, the stages being Full Mourning, Second Mourning and Half-Mourning. The different stages regulated what they would be wearing, with Full Mourning being all black and with no ornamentation, including the wodow’s veil, and the stages after that introducing some jewellery and modest ornamentation. When in Half-Mourning you would gradually include fabrics in other colors and sort of ease your way out of mourning. 

Wow, I am happy you made that joke so I could interpert it as a serious question and have an excuse to ramble on about clothing customs of the past, I am a historical fashion nerd.

That’s very informative, but I’m going to stick with my original head canon:

image

I love both the informed fashion history and the hilariously off-the-wall halves of this post.

captain-fucking-levi:

averypottermormon:

captain-fucking-levi:

ya-boy-levi:

captain-fucking-levi:

why am i not the protagonist of an amazing story

you are though—its called your life

shut the fuck up i wanna struggle fighting demons not struggle with getting out of bed every day

but those are your demons

i am hereby naming you as the antagonist and now it is my sole job to find you and hit you in the face with a chair for that bitch ass comment you just made